I was so happy that I had picked up this book from my library yesterday because when you are wide awake at 3:30 in the morning it's always a good thing to have one.
That's the way my nights have been a lot lately, my thoughts churning away, my brain not being able to stop with worry and trying to come up with plans and solutions, thinking about loved ones and about all that could have happened differently ... or not and why.
Regret is a tough one to deal with, it sets you up to always wonder if you did the right thing, if you could have done better, why you didn't do better, will you do better next time and if you've learned anything at all in your long life.
But here we are with a brand new day of hot sunshine and hope, this new book and ideas for creative projects plus a visit from a wonderful friend a couple of days ago who we haven't seen for a very long time and that reminds us of the most important things in our lives.
It is so difficult when you are alone with your thoughts and wondering how you could have done things differently. It really eats at you, but that is because of how much you care about doing the right thing. All you can do is tell them how much you do care, and ask 'what can I do to help?' Clearly, I've been in your shoes. Remember to be good to yourself my friend
ReplyDeleteI see that necklace :-) and the ring by Jenna in and among these vessels of peace and beauty. I read that book you are reading now ~ The Orchardist (not with those fun colored glasses, though). 3am thoughts are never good and they seem unstoppable. I hope you find a quiet mind soon. Or at least a way to ease your regrets. Sending you love, warmth, and hugs...and wishes for more visits with friends.
ReplyDeleteCynthia & Christine, thank you both so much for coming here and leaving me such sweet, caring words .... I am still trying to fix things here so I can reply to each comment, not sure why that has changed but I appreciate your visits so much.
ReplyDeleteOh....how I've been in your shoes... When my hair was falling out (plus a number of other health issues brought on by stress) and I couldn't sleep at all, I asked my doctor what I should do. You know her response? "Oh, you need to leave all those thoughts at the door of your bedroom!" I could've slapped her up side her head. How was I supposed to do that? So after lots of reading...I found that repeating a metta (a type of Buddhist meditation) really really helped me. Here is one...and I just keep repeating and repeating until I fall to sleep. "May I be safe, peaceful, and free of suffering...May I be happy. May I be healthy." You can then take an individual or others and say the same..."May Suzy be safe, peaceful and free of suffering...May Suzy be happy. May Suzy be healthy." It has really helped me. You may want to do a little research on various mettas or write your own.... Sending you a big virtual hug! ❤️
ReplyDeleteWow. I relate to this 100%! The night-reads, the wrestle, the regret. I think there is healing and new beginning on the other side of this cocoon of what if. Making peace with the past and present. Gosh, Susan, we are traveling companions for sure.
ReplyDeleteBig grace to you in the questions. I love you for asking them.
- Jennifer