"You need to claim the events of your life to make yourself yours. When you truly possess all you have been and done, which may take some time, you are fierce with reality."
Florida Scott-Maxwell ~ the measure of my days
My sweet granddaughter was wed this past weekend. Jenna & Dan finally got to say their marriage vows to each other. We couldn't be with them so on that morning I wanted to start this pair of earrings I'd been interested in learning to do.
I wove tiny beads for hours and thought of her, wondering what she was doing and how she was feeling. I remembered when she was just a little girl but already pretty much a spitfire and I also realized all the wonderful things she's already done in her life and so happy that one of them was to find her forever love.
I came to the computer a few times throughout the day to see if there were any wedding photos, my sister sent me some early the next morning and it was a glorious thing to see all the love & joy.
Also, there is between this special couple a deep understanding of being totally devoted to each other and this new life that they've made so I knew that this pair of earrings would be named Devotion and all this thrills me so, I can't wait to see what happens next.
I was so happy that I had picked up this book from my library yesterday because when you are wide awake at 3:30 in the morning it's always a good thing to have one.
That's the way my nights have been a lot lately, my thoughts churning away, my brain not being able to stop with worry and trying to come up with plans and solutions, thinking about loved ones and about all that could have happened differently ... or not and why.
Regret is a tough one to deal with, it sets you up to always wonder if you did the right thing, if you could have done better, why you didn't do better, will you do better next time and if you've learned anything at all in your long life.
But here we are with a brand new day of hot sunshine and hope, this new book and ideas for creative projects plus a visit from a wonderful friend a couple of days ago who we haven't seen for a very long time and that reminds us of the most important things in our lives.
I've been working on a special gift for the past few days and getting to do one of my favorite things, slow hand stitching. It's an amazing thing how sewing and beading earrings require the same tools, needle and thread, but use such different energy. I stitched most of the day yesterday while I watched all the traffic get crazier and more intense around us, I'm sure there was some sort of record set for that and for lost people.
But with this kind of work I could just let my mind wander with so many thoughts and memories. With bead weaving and making earrings I really have to pay such close attention every minute ... counting tiny beads, making sure I get the right color each time, making sure the thread doesn't knot, changing directions when needed so I find I can't do it for long periods of time.
I wish I could say that I was one of the types of people who, when slow stitching, adds only good thoughts and intentions in with each and every stitch but I'm not. Oh, there's plenty of good stuff in there but also way too many random, strange mind workings to ignore so plans get made, decisions reached, next projects thought about all while making little marks with thread and piecing parts together. But mostly it is holding close the person you are making for, hoping that they will like it, will use it, will keep it. I've always found that when I know who that person is it makes the making better.
A beautiful highlite at the end of the busy day, late evening on the deck and we got to see a mama raccoon usher her three big babies across the street, she paused to check that all were there then quietly drifted down into the ditch where we hope they are living. It was just the second time we've spotted any around here in all these years.
So, as always, we continue on with our slow, steady art work and marvel that we are smack in the middle of another summertime and, as always, it's all good.
Yet here we are, still trying to figure it out. It's hard to make sense of the world we find ourselves in now because we are people who will always have questions. I love the idea of faith but I lean toward science.
The most important thing I've learned about getting old(er), old(ish) is that there is a lot of time to lose a lot of people and that is some heart breaks that we're dealing with.
So while living in such a special place that also happens to be at the top of the list for loud noise every minute of every day we are making efforts to remain calm, to keep doing what helps us the most ... taking advantage of the studio space we have, putting ideas into being with clay, fabric, tiny beads and beautiful gifts from nature, walking, taking photos and naps, reading and lots of deep breaths.
As we wait today on word about another loved one I wanted to share a few of the most recent pieces from Larry.
I found out that the great appeal working on these little prayer wings hold for me is that I have no idea how they are going to turn out. That's what I also enjoy about making the love notes, just start with the same idea, gather supplies and keep open thoughts and let it flow. As much as I love making leather bags the process is very different because they must turn out a certain way with precise measurements and super strong connections being a priority. I also keep in mind that a person will be using it so I want it to fit them, be easy with their life style and hope that they love it. So there is always concern.
With the love notes, wall hangings and prayer wings there is the hope and idea that they will find the places they belong.
I am finished making these little wings for now but not over the love for them so there will be more later on. For now, since we are still having some cold days, the beads have returned to the table upstairs where it stays very cozy.
It seemed like a good morning to finish up with the prayer wings, take their pictures and clear off the work table ... there are so many other things to think about at this time.
Like waking up being a different age, so exciting that I've made it this far but with a side of scary, too. So many new ways of living to navigate and deep changes in our world to try to understand.
I have always felt like the new year starts on my birthday and make my hopes and wishes then as I'm doing today. I made one of these prayer wings to keep for myself, to focus on when I speak my thoughts while starting out the day, sending as much goodness and as many positive vibes that I can muster out my window and into the world.
Mostly I want to take this chance to say thank you to all of you who stop by here, for most of us it has been a sweet journey of many years ... visiting and supporting each other with much learning and growing along the way. I wish all great and wonderful things in this future of ours and will always keep the faith, will forever share my truth and will remain beyond grateful.
